Racecallers, Tipsters

[Equine Investor]

Further to the article in "Punt To Win" I wanted to share some of the more inane comments and absolute gems by tipsters and racecallers...

Bryan Martin -"Pogo Stick is going up and down in the one spot." :lol:

Ron Papps(Pappslotto) - "The numbers are 14 - 2 -8 across the line, or was it 12, well anyway the favorite won, and an outsider got up for second".

Bill Collins (absolute gentleman and great caller) - "Kingston Town can't win from there!"

"He will go down in equine immortality" - great quote.

Ian Craig - "Fair Dinkum he must have tippy- toed along the running rail."

The most frustrating comment from any tipster is, "Whatever beats him will win." or "He just wins!"

And how about this ... Tim Martin, son of racecaller Bryan Martin is on the MVRC young members' committee because he is the son of Bryan Martin, not for his contribution to racing. Well if you call hobby training a contribution?

Some absolute gems there...anyone like to add more?






<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Equine Investor on 2002-06-13 10:04 ]</font>

[becareful]

I love the old standby:

"It's been a bad day for punters with three odds-on favourites beaten."

Which really means it was a bad day for the suckers who backed those horses at ridiculously short odds - the smart punters who realised that the horses should never have been odds-on probably made a killing backing the actual winners!

[Privateer]

I had the misfortune to meet Bryan Martin some years ago. One of the most arrogant, self opinionated, brown-nosing snobs I have ever encountered. I disliked his race calls even before then. I'm not surprised he has managed to get his son into the clique. A real "would-be-if-he-could-be".

You can usually tell what he has supported simply by listening to his call of a race.

Did I mention I didn't like him?

[Placegetter]

Privateer, I didn't really get the gist of what you were saying. Tell us how you really feel!

One of my favourites was Shane Dye "You really have to whip Octagonal to get the best out of him." Hmmm, how many horses win Group 1 races without being whipped?

Placegetter

[Reenster]

Race 3 at Rockhampton the other day. The top weight is showing $1.80 the win a minute before they jump.

The "experts" are making their selections for the race and both agree on the favourite (surprise surprise).

One of them explains that it might be a bit short at the dollar eighty but "as they say, you can't go broke backing winners."

The favourite finished 4th and the winner? An 18/1 chance. I guess he was right, you can't go broke backing winners but what a loser this guy is.

You don't need to whip Sunline for it to win a group 1. Octagonal was a lazy horse which needed encouragement to win, even then he only won by a short margin, cause he was modest!

Some horses really respond to the whip, whereas others can be riden hands and heals.

Some of the European jockeys are brilliant without touching the whip.

[The Catparrot]

Shelley Hancox today on Sport 927 when not tipping Philotimo in her top three.
"Probably should put my friend Philotimo in but I can't be bothered."

Every sport has its share of stupid calls. Just look at the NRL.
After all, its only sport - not many rocket scientists here.

League Specials:

Jason Taylor - with a big piece of snot hanging out his nose during an after game interview.

Mal Meninga's - f & c words during an origin.

Sam Backo's famous "f" word after an origin.

Every player/coach:

"We are just going to take it one game at a time"

"Yeah the boys really dung deep - it was a huge effort, I'm really proud of the lads"

How many times have we heard that????

Why doesn't someone say:

"Actually, the other team was rubbish, we hardly had to do anything"

"We're thinking about the grandfinal, cause we plan to win every game up to that point"

As for racing - I hate Ron Dufficy's comments - he wraps almost the entire field except 100/1 shots.

"Hard to beat" is the most annoying comment.
Every 2nd horse is hard to beat according to these people.

I also hate when a racecaller is going thru all horses during a race, when all the action is going on upfront - while he's telling us who's last, 3 or 4 horses are challenging for the lead. The focus of a call should be on the front half of a race - rather than going thru the field one by one -just tell us what's happening with the top 8 horses - then say TTK is well back or something. When a backmarker makes a move lets us know, but meanwhile give us a reading of the top 8 horses and how good the speed is etc.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: chief on 2002-06-15 11:28 ]</font>

[TESTAROSSA]

Just thought i would revive this thread from a few months ago , some pretty funny stuff.

A favourite quote of mine by Brisbane caller Wayne Wilson "The Favourite is just smoking his pipe tucked away third on the rails"

A interviewer on Sky racing talking to a overseas jockey "As you travel the world , do you do a lot of travelling"

Not sure who said these three beauties "These two horse have met on five occasions , and i think they've beaten each other on each occasion"

"A racing horse is not like a machine , it has to be tuned up like a racing car"

"With half the race gone , there is half the race still to go"

Also have some other hilarious sporting quotes:

"I owe a lot to my parents , especially my mum and dad"- Greg Norman.

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that before each tee-shot , his wife takes out his balls and kisses them......Oh my god what have i said" - US Golf commentator.

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing , but none of them serious" - Alan Minter (Boxer).

And who can forget Murray Walker (Formula 1 caller):
"I imagine the conditions in those cars are totally unimaginable"

"He has the fastest car , except for the cars in front of him"

"There's no damage to the car , except to the car itself"

"How you can crash into a wall without it being there in the first place is beyond me"

Hope you had as much fun reading them as i did.

I will leave with one more from an unknown source:

"Never be afraid to try something new , remember , amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic"_________________

Good luck and good punting.

And remember a profit a day keeps the Girlfriend/Wife away.

Just removed the blank blue. No content altered - quapi

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: quapi on 2002-08-21 10:15 ]</font>

[Mark]

....and who can forget Rex Mossops classic, well one of them. When replying to a question, he said, "madam, how would you like to play 40 minutes of hard football, only to be pulled off at half-time by the coach".

[Hammers]

More from Rex;
"if every player had red hair like Vautin it would be much easier to call the game"
"Randall's run into a hornet's nest of Magpies"
"I've had it with these nude bathers forcing their genitalia down our throats"

[Equine Investor]

Fantastic stuff Testarossa - literally split my sides laughing at that contribution.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[michaelg]

Or these gems from England - "football's football, otherwise it would'nt be football"
or "the race course is as flat as a billiard ball"
or "she comes from a tennis family - her father was a dentist."


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: michaelg on 2002-08-22 11:45 ]</font>

[TheDuck]

Those are hysterical! To bend the topic slightly, some from my neighbour:

"I'll never forget what's-her-name"

"I don't mean to be condescending, which means to talk down to someone, but..."

And now, a page from the true book of wisdom here in the intellectual capital of the world we call the United States,

http://www.bathroomreader.com/throne/allpurpose_short.html

[Clancy]

The recepie for calling a race by the late Joe Brown -
"It's a visual operation, you've got to be able to see, recognise and say within a split second. Multiply this by the number of horses in the race and there's your recepie."

[Tennesse Blue]

good one clancy (N) joking mate

[Rain Lover]

Not forgetting the classic cricket call from Brian Johnson, West Indies v England late '70's'. Said with as straight a face as possible-
"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willy".

[TESTAROSSA]

Some very funny quotes from AFL commentator Dennis Cometti:

"Scotty Cummings alone in the goal square . jumping up and down and waving his arms like they're playing My Sharona"

After Shaun McManus is crunched in a tackle "Shaun goes back to collect the ball , a free kick and several teeth"

"Farmer may have an injury to his calf......hmmm , a farmer with a calf problem"

"Spider (Peter Everitt) had both his legs taken out from under him , leaving only the other six to balance on"

"Barlow to Bateman , the Hawks are attacking alphabetically"

"The goal square's full of bears , looks like we got ourselves a convoy"

On Corey McKernans pathetic early season form "He's like a long jumper who can't reach the sand"

Tony Liberatore emerges from a pack with blood pouring from his head "Libba went into the pack optimistically and came out misty optically"

Brereton "Why do you think he went side on to take the mark?"
Dennis "He was probably trying to impress the Russian judge"

As a comedian he makes a pretty good AFL commentator.