I need some personal help

[Barny]

I KNOW this is inappropriate but ..... I'm in some bother coping ATM with an impending tradegy, and my behaviour is affecting my family. Tried Lifeline, counselling still on-going, been diagnosed with severe depression (some of you will know what that's like), friends, esp one who's been through this before, Salvo's every now and then ..... that's the best so far, medication, sleeping tablets do ZIP, don't have the get up and go to help myself (if you've not been through this you might struggle to understand), gave my job up to be a carer and struggling to get out among it again,

Not suicidal, but totally understand now, how it can come to that with certain people .... the hurt is amazing!

I KNOW this is the wrong place, and I don't mind if this is given the flick. Just any publically posted suggestions would be great. The traditional stuff isn't working.

Nothing anyone posts about me on here will have any detrimental affect at all, but that's why I think the mods might give this the flick = being subjected to mental stress. Hope not - there must be somethign out there ..... please.

[jose]

Gee mate, not really the place as you say, but what does your postcode start with.
If it's a 4, I maybe can help.
Sorry to hear all this, and hope you and yours are OK.
Chin up.

[beton]

Barny
firstly you are recognizing it
Secondly you are admitting it
and thirdly you are asking for help and fourthly you are willing to talk about it.
You have gone further than most. Lets keep talking post an addy
Regards Beton

[UselessBettor]

My wife just went through this but had no idea why the sudden onset of depression (she ws diagnosed with Acute Adjustment disorder). At least you know the reason of the depression although I am sure that doesn't make it any easier for you.

My wife still has trouble sleeping at night but is a lot better now, still not herself but she is getting better. She got to a point which was unimaginable to me.

Some things that seem to have worked so far for her were the usual traditional things.

1. Depression medication
2. Fish oil
3. Mellatonine
4. Journal
5. Psychologist visits
6. Meditation music (mostly a thunderstorm while she tries to fall asleep)
7. Lots of exercise during the day
8. Constantly doing things.
9. Imersing herself in a hobby.
10. reading about depression and people who have recovered
11. reading the beyond blue book (beyondblue.org.au I think)
12. Being social.

Pretty much everything that they tell you do. I have noticed that exercise and constantly doing something really seem to help her. Even if it is just going around the shops and window shopping.

This time of year makes it very hard but just remember there is always a reason to get up in the morning. For my wife it is my daughter. For you it might be your wife, your kids(if you have any) or just for your parents. Having a reason to get better really helps.

The only person who can help you is you. If the meds are not working then ask them to be increased or changed. Different medications work differently with different people. Don't be afraid to get a second opinion if your doctor doesn't want to do anything.

Just remember it WILL get better but it takes time. I never really understood it till my wife got depression. Its hard. One of the hardest things you will ever go through., Just don't give up as it will get better. If you feel yourself getting worse please go to a hospital sooner rather then later. They are there to help.

A different doctors opnion could really help.... maybe its a medical problem like an overactive thyroid. By the sounds of it I would suggest going to the hosptial now anyway to get reassessed.

[Chrome Prince]

While it's unrelated to the purpose of the forum, I think it's as good a place as any.

I can speak from experience, it's very difficult for people that haven't had to endure it to understand.
First stop is your Doctor.
You must explain all your symptoms to him.
Note that some doctors are not very good at dealing with mental health issues, others are brilliant.
It's a rapidly increasing problem.
If you're not satisfied with your doctor's attitude or actions, find another one.

I fully understand the lack of motivation, it's a side effect of the illness.
Medication can help with this.

Ask your doctor about putting you on a mental health plan.
It is a government funded referral to a clinical psychologist who will be able to prescribe better medications and address some of your problems.
They will refer you for 5 free visits and then review your progress, if no progress is made they can apply for another government referral.

They will want to check out other physical problems first though, so be prepared for a barrage of tests and getting a bit frustrated. They have to do this to rule out other causes.
Thyroid problems and lack of Vitamin D can cause symptoms of depression.
In my case they also did numerous heart tests and I had to wear a halter monitor for 24 hours.
My case is a bit different, I've never been depressed, but have severe anxiety disorder.
They always tend to bundle anxiety and depression into the same thing for some odd reason.
It's particularly hard to deal with friends and family who have a "snap out of it" attitude.
Real depression is totally uncontrollable and an illness that you can't turn off an on. It's as real as any physical ailment, because your subconscious has taken over your physical functions.

Best of luck Barny, I do feel for you, I have been through it all and so have some of my family.
If you need any help or want to ask any questions, please do so.
You are not alone.

[moeee]

Probably best moved to the General Forum.

[Barny]

I'll check the general forum, thanks.

Done the mental health plan, and all the other stuff Chrome Prince. Appreciate your help.

UselessBettor, there's a couple of things there that I haven't tried. Obviously need to "try" my damndest and get out and do something physical. Got to !!!

One of my immediate family members is terminal and (can't even say it) ...... I knew it wasn't the right place to ask for help but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. It's more than me at stake here. Thanks heaps !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can delete it from here mods and I'll check the General Forum, I did get something out of this !!

[pjr]

Barny,

Another tip don't bet on horse racing as gambling your money away leads to further depression and anxiety.

[michaelg]

Barny,

I too suffer from depression and anxiety.

One of my many fears is that when I return home at night is that when I turn on my kitchen light is that it won't work and my power will be off and I won't be able to fix it, etc.

Last week one of my friends also suffers from depression told me he prays to St. Michael and that maybe I should even though I am not a religious person. He gave me a print-out of about a dozen prayers to St. Michael.

When I got home I turned on my kitchen light, which worked, even though my heart was in my mouth as it always is just prior to switching it on.

About half an hour later I started reading (not praying) the first prayer. I immediately felt the depression quickly vanishing and that an invisible St Michael was standing next to me ready to protect me and help me in every situation.

I then went back to the kitchen and switched on the light. The globe made some sort of noise and then died. I immediately thought this could not possibly be some sort of sign but a 100% coincidence. However the more I thought about it the more I was trying to convince myself it was not a coincidence - just wishful thinking to raise my spirits.

My anxiety started to return yesterday so I began to re-read one of the prayers, and it completely again disappeared.

As I said before I am not a religious person, nor am I now. Accepting that my cure was all in my mind and am 99.9% sure of it. But as it is working in a very effective way I have no intentions of stopping reading the prayers.

As you have not mentioned trying anything religious I though I would let you know of mine and my friend's experience.

All the best.
Michael.

[Chrome Prince]

Done the mental health plan, and all the other stuff Chrome Prince. Appreciate your help.
I did get something out of this !!

I'm very glad that you did get something ou of this.
The danger of course, is that any advice is only advice.
I am not a doctor, so take anything on this forum as simply advice.

You've stated that you've done all the other stuff, so my concern is that you are still obviously in dire need of help.

Honestly Barny, please get back to the doctor as soon as possible.

[Shaun]

Barny,

Another tip don't bet on horse racing as gambling your money away leads to further depression and anxiety.

Best advice given IMO

[darkydog2002]

Unless your betting Bgahwans NEW system.
Cheers

[Barny]

Thanks Chrome Prince, I visit the doc regularly. I'm not in a good way, but even if aussielongboat came on and called me a trollop or whatever, it wouldn't do any further harm, probs even light entertainment. I'm up to my eyeballs in grief. I like the data and the nags and that's something I suppose. Sometimes I shake so much, just a recent event, that I cannt type. I've actually got to steer clear of my family 'coz I'll drag them down too. This is shyte!

[Chrome Prince]

Barny, if you're shaking so much, and you've been to the doctor, something's not right.
Any chance you can go to another doctor and show him your symptoms, he might be able to prescribe Serepax and your symptoms will improve dramatically.

I'm not prescribing, I'm saying suggest it to a doctor.

Is there any way you can go away and take a break.
Do some fishing or reading or cycling or something that relaxes you?
It will help a lot.
Not sure of your situation, it might not be appropriate to leave.

[Chrome Prince]

Perhaps we should take this off the forum.
If you wish to email me: racestats at hotmail dot com.

[Michal]

Hi Barney,

I have gone through similar thing mental problem wise brought on by stress, different to yours though. Happy to offer some sugestions. admin at formelements dot net .

Michal

[Barny]

I'm going to ask that this be moved out of the way to the General Forum. Thanks to those who offered their insights. If you haven't suffered this, then you can't possibly understand what it's like. I've suffered mild depression / anxiety / whatever whomever it is you're seeing, calls it, for many years but it escalated over the past six months due to severe trauma, grieving etc.

michaelg ..... There IS DEFINITELY something in this religious / belief stuff. I started going to the Salvos every couple of weeks as one of many things I was doing to get out of this deep hole. 1st week, nothing, 2nd week nothing, 3rd week nothing, 4th week nothing ..... 5th week Whammo !!! I didn't find God although I do have some faith, but I found some peace that I hadn't experienced for a long time. Absolutely amazing !

Chrome ..... I changed medication that I'd been on for 10 years ..... an almost immediate affect. Stoppeed shaking uncontrollably. Usually these changes take a couple of weeks to show up, if at all. It ain't an exact science.

You hear it all the time that there is a way out, but when you're in it deep, and I knew I was (I don't know how those who experience this for the first time go, although having said that, my past experience counted for nought), there just doesn't appear to be any light at the end of the tunnel. The medicos and the psychs are relying on you for information so that they can help ..... BUT you're not in a position to be able to give them good information 'coz you're so screwed up !!!

For those who are going through this ..... correct medication, seek counselling, try a religious experience (never thought I'd say that, but I'm telling you, don' knock it !!!!!), get off the booze, get a couple of mates and ask that they stick by you and tell them not to assume that coz you seem OK one day that you're all better - it just doesn't happen that way. Personally I probably expected too much from my mates they're not equiped to handle this, and probs get totally worn out by it all, and maybe even a little p!ssed off 'coz they don't understand. It's all easy to say but very hard to do.

Thanks heaps to all those who helped, you've helped me and also those closest to me too. I've gone from 0% to half way ?? ..... at least far enough so that my head's above water.

[UselessBettor]

I am so glad to hear this Barny. Im glad your on your way to recovering. Im sure its a hard and long proccess but you will get there. You have risen from your deepest, darkest, worst point so it can only get better from there.

[Chrome Prince]

Fantastic news Barny.
Hang in there.

For what it's worth, I had a bad bout of anxiety recently, so decided to experiment as I'm completely off all meds.

I tried many recommended things, and went for a half hour walk on the beach.
Came back no better at all really.

Next day, went for a three hour walk on the beach, one hour walking, one hour sitting relaxing watching the waves, the boats, the kites, etc. Just tuning out.
Walked back to my car another hour.
Came home and felt completely better.

I'm not religious, so nothing like that works for me, but this certainly did.

[Barny]

Hopefully there's someone out there who get's something out of this, 'coz you can get up off the canvas even though at times you cannot move out of bed for days ..... no showers, very little to eat, ..... it's typical behaviour where you're suffering and you just don't see what's going to change. Get to the doctor, or emergency and get some medication ..... that should give you enough breathing space and strength to get a GP who specialises in mental illness, then onto a psych. Keep going back to both very regularly until you feel some progress, then you can have a crack at exercise etc.

Too much pressure to exercise and eat properly early on, when you just can't do it, can make things worse.

My experience only, everyone's different.

You aren't on your own, that's for sure.