Thought for the day
 

Last night I played a blank CD full blast and the mime next door
went nuts.

;)

You can't blame him/her because a noise annoys.

If a person with multiple personalities threatened to commit suicide
would it be considered a hostage situation?

Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live
in it.

You feelin' ok there Chrome?

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT
of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse flavoured cat food?

Peterpan,

well said from the boy who never grew up.

Chrome,if they are bugging you so much,

eliminate the personalities you don't like.

I love these things :D

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

We are all part of the ultimate statistic. ten out of ten die.

I've had a long life and the only thing I miss is my mind.

Where DID the Seedless Gape come from ?


Why is it.
That The Miss Universe Competition is always won by someone from Earth.

Cheers
OM SHARNTEE

Why is it.
That The Miss Universe Competition is always won by someone from Earth.

Cheers
OM SHARNTEE[/QUOTE]Anyone who thinks that a twelve month stint armed with a waspish waistline, tight glutes and decottelage topped of with a sash and tiara are going to bring World Peace and an end to Starvation is NOT from this planet OM!
They just say they are.

THOUGHTS ABOUT CHILDREN
 

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex. At all.

About Women
 

Who can figure them out?
They paint themselves,, squeeze out offspring the size of watermelon through a tiny tender little aperture, get holes punched through their tender flesh, lips, earlobes, noses, eyebrows,navels and even more tender lips, get stabbed millions of times with needles to paint designs on their flesh and all to look more attractive.......but let ONE tiny cute little mouse runs across their foot ......

Understanding Women
 

I can't understand this huge reaction to me using the word "spew'?
She went on and on, so offended at my usage, I can't understand it, I mean, that's exactly what the lasagne tasted like?!

Of course, if there were any truth to this I would be the chap formerly known as Diogenes, now referred to as "The Deceased".

Madness is hereditary - you get it from your kids.

I really love refried beans but whenever I eat mexican food I end up sleeping alone.....makes you wonder why in Hades there are so many Mexicans,huh?

Soooo sick of those ponderers as to whether the glass is half empty or half full kinda people......slam it down, skull it, and exclaim with passion that it's empty!!!

Gotta share this ya, my Daughter has just returned from a 6 month trip to India, she has caught on video, some footage of a very convincing begger, who then stops begging to answer his "Mobile Phone".............? I kid you not!

What I do in my off-season to get enough to pay the bookies is my business, surely?
And back on track to thought of the day....I knew this bloke who caught herpes of the eyes....he looked for love in all the wrong places!

just looking at the fields at eagle farm tomorrow. spy zaim is in race 2. in the scone cup last start it won and i remember reading the form for the scone cup and genuinely gave it no chance in the race in fact i thought why is this horse 8/1 it should be 50/1....... thought for the day::::::: don't follow my tips lol

LOL

A retired handicapper recently gave me some advice. He said "when you are punting , never fall in love with a horse, I did that as a professional which is why I ended up a handicapper".
I thought about it a bit, and asked "What's the worst thing that could happen?" and he said "Being caught in it's stall".

Not much to think about with these.
But you may get a laugh from these genuine Newspaper headlines

20-Year Friendship Ends At Altar
1.6 Million Cherokees Are Recalled -- L.A Times
18,000 Women Recalled For New Tests - The Times
Air Head Fired --
Army Social Worker Punched His Boss At Conference On Anger -- Times
Bacteria May Make Bullet Proof Vests
Antique Stripper To Display Wares At Store
Baywatch Star Objects To Fake Org…
Bulge In Trousers Was Ecstasy
Bearded Lady Sues Dwarf -- UPI headline
Cattleman Grilled by Oprah's Lawyer
Christian Cars Stoned in AP headline
Central Bank Aims To Replace The Mattress – Guardian
Cash Compost Means That Trees Can Grow On Money -- The Times

Cheers OM