Paddy and suan were fed up with the poor pay in Ireland,
one day in the pub they decided to buy a row boat for 50 pounds and row across the channel for a better life in France.

Sunday came and off they set, hours went buy and Paddy stood up in the leaky little tub.
"How far do you think weve come Saun?"
"Bout half way id recon Paddy"
"Well, im so ruddy tired,...how bout we go back home and try again tomorrow"


A pirate and his mate met in a tavern in the Bahamas, 1800s, they hadnt seen each other for years.
Ahh, i havent seen you for years captain, how are you (all the pirate noises, rum, 1 leg, you get the picture)
Arrrr, im good.
I noticed youve lost your leg captain,...what happened there ?

well,...i was chassing a hump back whale of the ivory coast and the ************ turned and bit me leg off,...now ive got this wooden leg.

I notice you have a hook, what happened there ?

Well, i was fighting the French, and one of them cut me ruddy hand off in a sword fight,...now i got this hook.

And i noticed captain youve got that patch on your eye, what happened ?

AHHHH, me patch,.....well i was sun baking on the poop deck in the maldives when a pigeon swooped down from the crows nest and pooped in me eye.

well,...how did that make you loose your eye captain ?



it was the day after i got me hook !



keep em comming, ive got heaps