I will probably get crucified for this from the heavies here but here goes.....

Get yourself down to the nearest Apple store and sit in on one of the free lessons.

Buy a Mac.

No more troubles. No Viruses. No worms. No trojans. No more buying a "new" anti Virus program every 2 minutes. (more than likely from the very people who write the viruses).
No more worries.

I have had the same Mac for over 4 years and the only thing I have ever had to do with it is buy a new charger.

Bring on the sniping!

__________________
Jose'.