Those are hysterical! To bend the topic slightly, some from my neighbour:

"I'll never forget what's-her-name"

"I don't mean to be condescending, which means to talk down to someone, but..."

And now, a page from the true book of wisdom here in the intellectual capital of the world we call the United States,

http://www.bathroomreader.com/thron...pose_short.html