I quote from the book here (and hope I don't infringe copywrite).
"While investigating this rather indelicate matter of horse masturbation I came across some information that needs to be passed on to punters in the interest of occupational health and safety. Surgical registrars at two London hospitals reported on several disturbing cases involving penile injuries to humans caused by, of all things, vacuum cleaners. In one case a 60 year old man said that he was changing the plug of his Hoover Dustette vacuum cleaner in the nude while his wife was out shopping. The machine 'turned itself on' and caught his ********** causing severe lacerations. In another case a 65 year old signalman bent down to pick up his tools and caught his ********** in a vaccuum cleaner which happened to be switched on." So it goes on.

I like an author who is concerned about the welfare of his punting friends as they go about their household chores.

KV