And a merry Xmas to you also Paddy and fellow Pro-Punter Forum members.

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck,
How to live in a world that's Politically Correct?

His workers would no longer answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the North Pole,
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
Released to the wild by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear,
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with four pigs - and did that look stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were deemed dangerous by the E.P.A.

And people had started to call the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

The second-hand pipe smoke had his workers quite frightened,
And his fur-trimmed suit was called "Unenlightened".

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolph was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.

And had gone on Oprah in front of the whole nation,
Demanding millions in overdue compensation.

And as for the gifts, why he'd never had a notion,
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him and nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's war-like or non-pacifist.

No candy or sweets....they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie - better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological,
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No cricket, no football.....someone could get hurt.
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe',
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable could be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the Left or the Right.

A gift that would satisfy with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion.

Every ethnicity , every hue,
Everyone everywhere....even you.

So here is the gift, it's price beyond worth,

May you and your loved ones enjoy Peace on Earth !!


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[ This Message was edited by: BettyBoop on 2002-12-21 08:24 ]