'How come you're always winning money on the horses?' asked Paddy.

'Well, it's all down to Saint Anthony,' said Peter McGee. 'Every morning on my way to work I pop into church, kneel in front of Saint Anthony's statue, take out the racing paper, and the holy man guides my hand down the list of runners. Never fails.'

'I'm not a Catholic,' said Paddy, 'but I'd love to try it. Where is this statue?'

'Go in the front door of Sacred Heart Church and Saint Anthony is the six-foot statue on the right.'

Next morning, into church went Paddy, little knowing that overnight the six-foot Saint Anthony had been removed for cleaning and in its place was a two-foot high replica.

Paddy searched high and low for the six-foot Saint Anthony, but it was nowhere to be found.

Finally Paddy edged up to the little statue and whispered, I'm a friend of Pete McGee's. Has your old man left any tips for today?' :???: :lol: