After a life of hard work Paddy (no relation to the Paddy here!) finally has enough money to fulfil his dream and retire to the country. Being a life-long fan of racing he buys two retired race horses to keep him company on his farm. Unfortunately when they are delivered he can't tell the difference between the two of them. He calls his friend Mick and explains his problem - Mick suggests he should cut the tail on one horse short so he can tell the difference. A few days later some joker cuts the tail of the other horse and he is again confused. He calls Mick who suggests he put a nick in one of the ears of one horse. A few days later the joker returns and puts a nick in the ear of the other horse so he is again unable to tell the difference. He calls Mick again who suggests he measure the horses - maybe one is taller than the other? A few minutes later Paddy calls Mick again:

"You're a genius Mick - the brown horse is six inches taller than the grey horse!"

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"Computers can do that????" - Homer Simpson

becareful, your thread title shook me up a little! I thought I had won lotto or something or perhaps worse, had been excommunicated by quapi!

On the subject of other Paddys -

Paddy’s at the annual international horse breeders, owners & trainers convention.
He is sitting at the bar catching up with a number of old acquaintances.

Bruce a respected Australian breeder, shouts to the barman. "In 'Strailya?, we make the best ************ beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters,mate."

Rob a leading USA trainer calls out next. "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I’m having the
king of them all - give me a pint of Bud".

Hans a respected German trainer, steps up next "In Germany we invented beer. Give me a Weisen,The REAL King of beers."

Jan, a top racing executive from Holland, follows by stating that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of head on top.

Finally Paddy steps forward. "Barman, give me a coke with ice please".

The other 4 stare at him in stunned silence with amazement written all over their faces. Eventually Bruce asks, "Are you not going to have a Guinness, Paddy?”

Paddy replies - "Well, if you boyos aren't drinking, then neither am I!"

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Ta me go maith

i love it
i absolutely love it.