A punter, who had just lost all his wages on the horses, stepped out of the racecourse into the pouring rain.

As he did, the sole of his shoe peeled back and began flapping about.

Just then, a bookie, who was packing up his car, noticed the man's misery.

"What's up, lad?" he asked taking a puff on his large cigar.

"Well," said the punter, "I've been at the races all day, lost my wages, and now the soles peeled off my shoe and I have to walk home in the pouring rain".


"Don't worry, lad" said the sympathetic bookie.


With a flourish, he pulled a large roll of banknotes from his trouser pocket and peeling off the rubber band

gave it to the man. "Here, put that round your shoe!"

:smile:

__________________
Ta me go maith

Getting a bit frisky in the spelling paddock, hey Paddy? :lol:

Not bad Paddy :smile:

Miss your humour as well as your PPP thread -think you were a bit unlucky last time around. Also think Big Orange needs some competition and bit of your Irish luck. BO is not having much luck lately.

Oh my goodness Horse cents, it’s a wonder quapi has not excommunicated ya!!

A lifelong horse racing fan and his wife were killed in an auto accident. When the two made it to heaven, St. Peter said, "Welcome to heaven. Good to have you here. I think you'll be pleased with the racing here."

Horse Player: "You've got racing here?"

St. Peter: "You bet. Just name your track—Flemington, Caulfield, Churchill Downs, Eagle Farm, Sandown, Randwick, Rosehill, Canterbury, Saratoga, Warwick Farm, Ascot, Longchamps any of them and there's more. Just tell the ticket-taker which track you want, you'll be there."

Horse Player: "What are the track conditions like?"

St. Peter: "What do you want them to be? Fast, slow, good whatever. Just tell the ticket-taker."

Horse Player: "Well, what horses are running?"

St. Peter: (by this time getting exasperated) "Today's card: the fourth race is our all-Comers special: Sunline, Phar Lap, Kingston Town, Northerly, Carbine, Light Fingers, Grandera, Super Impose, Tobin Bronze, Luskin Star, Sky High, Todman, Octagonal & Tullock.

The ninth race: The all-ladies Stakes: Wenona Girl, Storm Queen, Ethereal, Lets Elope, Leilani, Mannerism, Empire Rose, Jezabeel, Hi Jinx, Tristarc & How Now.

We've got our favourite race, The Big Cup: Man O'War, Even Stevens, Secretariat, Windbag, Peter Pan, Might & Power, Kiwi, Galilee, Rogan Josh, Rising Fast, Think Big, Hyperno, Gala Supreme, Gatum Gatum &
Saintly, We only run that one once every two weeks.

Next week--the Triple Crown Stakes: Paris Lane, El Gordo, Mighty Kingdom, Ming Dynasty, Gay Icarus, Big Philou, Bunratty Castle, Sydeston, Red Craze and Summer Fair. That's every 2 weeks, too."

Horse Player: "What type of bets can I make?"

St. Peter: "Where ARE you? What do you want: longshots, daily double, exacta, trifecta, quinella, all up, you name it. Just tell the cashier when you bet. And you win every time!"




The horse player looks at his wife and says: "If it wasn't for you and your
#$%*&@ low cholesterol diet , I'd have been here 5 years earlier!!"


_________________
May the luck of the Irish be with you!



[ This Message was edited by: Paddy on 2002-10-14 16:24 ]

The post has been deleted. There are forums out there for that type of joke. Please, not here.

Hey Horse cents, which country have you been deported to?

Rogan Josh, the milky bar kid :lol: well done my boyo!

Dear BettyBoop. Have thought about resurrecting Paddy’s Penultimate Plunges, but I don’t think many folk would be all that interested.

_________________
May the luck of the Irish be with you!



[ This Message was edited by: Paddy on 2002-10-19 01:36 ]

Hi Paddy.

Quapi had me booked for the boat home to England. Neil put a good word in for me so I'm still allowed to post. Thanks Neil. His advice, NO jokes with naughty references.

Since that one was about the cleanest one I have, I'll stick to regular posts.