Abbot: Computer Support Service, how may I help you ?
Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I think I need to buy a computer.
A: Mac ?
C: No, the name is Lou. I need to buy a Computer.
A: Mac ?
C: I told you my name is Lou !
A: What about Windows ?
C: I don't know, what do I see out the windows ?
A: Wallpaper.
C: Never mind the windows and wallpaper, I need a computer and software.
A: Software that runs on Windows ?
C: No, on the computer ! I need something to write proposals, track expenses, you know, run a business. What have you got ?
A: Office.
C: I already have an Office !
A: Office for Windows.
C: I have an office an it already has windows ! Look, lets say I'm sitting in my office at my new Computer and I want to write a proposal. What do I need ?
A: Word.
C: I'm going to need lots of words, but what program do I load ?
A: Word.
C: What word ?
A: The Word in Office.
C: The only word in office is office !
A: The Word in Office for Windows.
C: Which word in ' office for windows ?'
A: The big blue W
C: I'll give you a big blue in a minute ! Forget words for a moment and tell me what I need for Bank accounts ?
A: Money.
C: Yes money, I obviously need money, but how do I track it, you know, loans, and so on. What do you have so I can keep track of it ?
A: Money.
C: Yes thats right, what do you have ?
A: Money comes bundled with your computer.
C: Money comes bundled with my computer ?
A: Exactly. No extra charge.
C: How much money do I get ?
A: Just one copy.
C: I get a copy of money ? Isn't that illegal ?
A: No, we have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
C: Microsoft can license you to make copies of money ?
A: Why not ? They own it. If you buy a computer from us you get it for free.
C: Thats wonderful, I get a bundle of money with my computer, but how about my accounting, do you have software for that ?
A: Simply Accounting.
C: Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
A: You might try M.Y.O.B.
C: What's M.Y.O.B. ?
A: Mind you own Business.
C: I beg your pardon ?
A: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
C: Look, I just need to do some accounting for my Home Business. You know, ACCOUNTING ??? ...you do it with money !!!
A: You might need more.
C: More money ?
A: Yes more than Money. Money can't do everything.
C: I don't need a sermon ! Forget about money for a moment. What do I need if my computer ... what's the word ? Crashes ? How do I restore my Data ?
A: GoBack.
C: Go back ? How many times do I have to repeat myself ?
A: I never asked you to repeat yourself, I said GoBack.
C: How can I go back, I haven't been anywhere ? OK, I'll go back. What do I need to write a proposal ?
A: Word.
C: But I will need lots of words to write a proposal.
A. No, you only need one word to write a proposal, the Word in Office for Windows.
C: I only need one word for a proposal and it's in my office windo... but there is three words in ... OH FORGET IT !!! ...'clunk'.
A: Hello ? Hello ? Why do they hang up ? Oh, to hell with him. What a dummy !

ring...ring....

A: Computer Support Services, how may I help you ?

Cheers.



[ This Message was edited by: crash on 2004-01-17 09:03 ]

http://smoothwall.org/net/
Version 2.0 Express

user friendly external firewall

[ This Message was edited by: puntz on 2004-01-24 11:37 ]

I am happy to offer "tech. support" and be corrected along the way. Part of a new learning thing and interesting to say the least.


[ This Message was edited by: puntz on 2004-01-31 00:13 ]

[ This Message was edited by: puntz on 2004-01-31 00:15 ]

i have been using windows xp for sometime, & have had no problems whilst using its inbuilt firewall.

also used ad-aware with xp without any problems, however after my browser got hijacked my only saviour was a magic bit of software called 'hijackthis' availiable from -

http://download.com.com/3000-2144-10227352.html

Anyone notice that the time allotted to your posts on this site is always a few minutes in advance :???:

Doesn't look good if you post a "winner" a few minutes before race time - it could look like you've posted the winner after the race :lol: