A redhead walked into a bar at 9.58p.m.There was only one other person in the bar,a blonde sitting about 3 stools away.The redhead ordered a drink,and the 10 o'clock news came on the t.v.in the bar.There was a guy standing on the ledge on the 20th floor of a building threating to jump.The redhead said to the blonde"I'll bet you $100 he jumps.""Your'e on,"said the blonde.As they watch,the guy jumps to his death.The blonde reaches into her purse and puts $100 on the bar.The redhead says"honey,I can't take your money,I saw this report on the 5 o'clock news,and I knew he was going to jump."To which the blonde replied,"No,you take the money.I saw it on the 5 o'clock news too,I just didn't think that he'd do it again!"


The Wife V the handyman!!!

A guy was watching sport on the t.v.when his wife came into the room and said"honey,the light is flickering in the hallway,can you fix it?"He replies"Do I have electrician tattooed on my forehead?"I don't think so.Ten minutes later she comes back into the tv room again,and says"honey,the back steps are broken,can you fix them?"He replies"Do I have carpenter tattooed on my forehead?"I don't think so.Another 10 minutes pass,ands she's back again."honey,the fridge won't shut properly,can you fix it?"He replies"do I have fridge mechanic tattooed on my forehead?I don't think so.Stuff this,I'm off to the Pub."Off he goes to the pub,and stays there till closing time.When he gets home,hew notices that the front steps are fixed,and the hall light is no longer flickering.He gets a beer out of the fridge,and notices that it shuts properly.Then his wife appears,and he asks her how all these things got repaired."Well",she says,"not long after you went to the Pub,this nice young man knocked on the door.He was looking for work,and I showed him all the stuff that neede fixing.He said that he could fix everything.I asked him what it would cost,and he said that I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him."So,said the husband",what kind of cake did you bake him?"
She replies"do I have pastry cook tattooed on my forehead,I don't think so!!"

:lol: