A guy wanted a sign painted for his business so he phoned up the painters. His shop was called ******** and Bull and he sat down with the painters to come up with a nice design. The painter said "Shall i just paint ******** and bull and leave it nice and plain?" The shop owner said "No i would like you to put a couple of stars in between the words so it looks good" The painter said "where would you like them?" the owner said "I i want a star between ******** and And, and And and Bull".

There you go 5 Ands in a row.

Good on you hefty.

You have been reading my mail. Correct in every way.

enjay.

This Queensland horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she
was entered.


But as she got older she became very temperamental.

He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but
when she raced during the day she would come in dead last.


He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail.

He finally had to give up because it had become ...... a real night mare. :grin:

Number 34 BettyBoop !? Forgot all about that one! :grin:

__________________
Ta me go maith

Two show stallions are arguing over who should take best of breed.

The first says, "I'll grant you are the closest I have ever seen to my equal, but my legs are just a bit straighter than yours, and, you know, the legs are of prime importance: no foot, no horse!"

The second horse says, "I'll allow your legs are just a bit better than mine, but mine are the legs I was born with and I know for a fact you had thousands of dollars of corrective work.

Your foals will inherit your natural legs, not your genius farrier!"


The first horse mulls this for a moment, then says, "You're right. I stand corrected..."

:lol:

The thunder god went for a ride on his favourite filly.


"I'm Thor!" he cried.


The horse answered, "You forgot the thaddle, thilly."

:grin:

__________________
Out in front - you make your own luck!

Paddy & Sean bought some horses at an auction, paying one hundred dollars apiece for them.

Then they drove to another auction, and sold all their horses for the same price they'd paid for them.

After counting their money at the end of the day, they were very upset to realize that they'd ended up with no more money than they'd started with.


"See!" said Paddy. "I told you we shoulda bought more horses!"

A zebra went to heaven. When he saw St. Peter he asked him, "You know, I have always wondered, am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?"


St. Peter said he would have to ask God that question since he's the one that made him.


So the zebra asked God, "God, am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?"


God answered, "You are what you are."


The zebra left and came upon St. Peter and told him, "Well I asked God if I was a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes..."


"What was the answer," St. Peter asked.


"Well I still don't know. All He said was: 'You are what you are.'


"Well that answers it," Said St. Peter. "You're a white horse with black stripes."


"How do you know that?" asked the zebra.



"Well if you were a black horse with white stripes He would have said: 'You is what you is.'"

:grin:

__________________
Ta me go maith

'How come you're always winning money on the horses?' asked Paddy.

'Well, it's all down to Saint Anthony,' said Peter McGee. 'Every morning on my way to work I pop into church, kneel in front of Saint Anthony's statue, take out the racing paper, and the holy man guides my hand down the list of runners. Never fails.'

'I'm not a Catholic,' said Paddy, 'but I'd love to try it. Where is this statue?'

'Go in the front door of Sacred Heart Church and Saint Anthony is the six-foot statue on the right.'

Next morning, into church went Paddy, little knowing that overnight the six-foot Saint Anthony had been removed for cleaning and in its place was a two-foot high replica.

Paddy searched high and low for the six-foot Saint Anthony, but it was nowhere to be found.

Finally Paddy edged up to the little statue and whispered, I'm a friend of Pete McGee's. Has your old man left any tips for today?' :???: :lol:

Betty Boop, Paddy, Rogan Josh and El Gordo pretending to be four different posters..............Now, that's a joke. :smile:

C'mon. Time to come clean.
You are one and the same.