Some enlightening instructions seen on some products:

On a TV dinner -- " First remove from box"

On a hairdryer -- “Do not use while sleeping.”

On a bag of Crisps -- “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.”

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On Nytol Sleeping Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."

On an Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."